Magic Tricks and Handcuffs
by Ellie Kohler
Summary: John's over at Dave's house when he gets himself into a situation caused by a magic trick gone wrong. Might rate up later. But Rated T for language use.


**OKAY I LEFT SOME OF OUR FUNNY LITTLE QUIPS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROLEPLAY TO SHOW WHAT WE WERE ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT ON THE SIDE. I WAS RPING AS DAVE AND THE OTHER RPER WAS JOHN. THIS IS ONLY THE RP OF THE STORY. I AM RE WRITING IT IN FULL STORY FORM.**

**T FOR LANGUAGE.**

**ENJOY PEEPS.**

**Side note Homestuck and Characters belong to Andrew Hussie  
**

▲: hey have you seen a small key around?

▼: yeah dude

▼: *hands key* you left it here

▲: oh ha ha yeah just HAND it to me.

▲: unlock the cuffs dude.

▼: right and why would i want to do that

▲: magic tricks are so dumb i can't believe i tried it.

▲: dave come on!

▼: youre not supposed to try them on yourself egderp

▲: of course you are!

▲: i think

▲: god damn it.

▲: i pranked myself!

▲: CURSE MY PRANKSTER'S GAMBIT!

▼: good going egbert

▼: now sit there and think about what you did

▲: no i am so done with thinking about what i did!

▲: i should start thinking about what i am GOING to do.

▲: that makes a lot more sense.

▲: and i think i'm going to kick you if you don't help me out here.

▼: *flips key in air* why would i do that

▼: you got yourself into this mess

▲: ugh! you're so impossible.

▼: yup

▲: undo them and i'll show you the trick?

▼: hmmmm?

▼: fine

▼: but on one condition

▲: whaaaat?

▼: you dont try to kill me or hurt me in anyway

▲: why would i?

▲: ...did you do something?

▼: no im just making sure

▼: *uncuffs john*

▲: *John rubs his wrists.* aaaah finally those were starting to cut me.

▼: you were the one who did them too tight

▲: it was so the audience would be sure i couldn't escape without magic!

▼: sure whatever you tell yourself egbert

▲: and it was so convincing!

▲: but i left the secret spare key here...

▲: and casey ate the one i threw dramatically.

▼: good girl casey

▼: youre an idiot for trying that

▲: excuse me for trying to expand my talent into the magic department!

▼: try it without the cuffs first

▼: or are you one of those magicians that gets off on wearing those damned things

▲: i did try it without the cuffs! but that was soooo laaaame and easy.

▲: no way man! those things hurt.

▼: because you did them up too tight

▼: *cuffs john gently*

▼: try again

▲: what?

▲: you have the key though.

▼: so

▲: it's not ACTUALLY magic. just some dumb trick.

▲: are you expecting me to go hulk on these?

▼: no im expecting you to shut up

▲: i'm not going to shut up, you just handcuffed me without a secret spare key!

▲: *John tries to force his hands out of the cuffs.*

▲: bluh!

▼: i have the key dummy

▼: but im not giving it to you until you do the trick

▲: but.

▲: ugh.

▲: this is so dumb. i can't do the trick without the key.

▼: sure you can

▼: *puts key in back pocket*

▲: i hate you.

▼: i bet you do

▲: *John tries to wiggle out of the cuffs again, and obviously fails to.* blargh!

▼: *starts laughing*

▲: don't you dare laugh you ass!

▼: too late

▲: come on dave this magic isn't real just unlock it. again.

▲: please?

▼: hmmm no

▲: ugh!

▲: what do i even have to do to get you to?

▼: get the key

▼: *sits down*

▲: ...

▲: seriously.

▲: i saw you put it in your back pocket! and now you're even sitting on it.

▼: and?

▲: *john nudges his leg with his foot.* come on stand back up then i can't get it when you're sitting.

▼: yeah you can

▲: HOW even?

▲: its under your ass!

▲: and my hands are behind my back!

▼: fine

▼: *uncuffs john*

▲: jesus THANK you.

▼: *cuffs him with his hands in front of him*

▲: GOD DAMN IT.

▲: you're such a dick.

▼: your just figuring this out

▲: bluh.

▲: you're having fun right now aren't you.

▼: yup

▲: *John moves to Dave, trying to get between the couch and his back.*

▲: can you at least lean forward?

▼: *steps out of the way*

▲: which pocket is it?

▼: its in my hand egbert

▲: what.

▲: UGH!

▲: i thought you put it back.

▼: nope

▲: ok just give me it then.

▼: *puts key in back pocket* nope

▲: why are you so difficult?

▼: because im a strider

▲: *John rolls his eyes.*

▲: whatever i'm taking that key now.

▼: *turns to face John* nope

▲: dude just stay still. *John circles around him, reaching for the pocket.*

▼: *sits down* just try it egderb

▼: ((dammit))

▲: (EGDERB HAHAHA)

▲: (gomen)

▼: (i constantly hit the b))

▲: *John kneels on the couch next to him trying to move his hands inbetween him and the couch* dude seriously! you're like just TRYING to lean back onto the couch as hard as possible.

▼: yup i am and because youre not doing the magic trick

▲: i can't do it without the key you pompous ass! *John pushes Dave over and holds him down.*

▼: *laughs at stupid attempt to get key* seriously egbert

▲: shut up! *John rolls him over onto his stomach and straddles his legs to keep him down. He stuffs a hand into his pocket, trying to get a grip of the key before he gets pushed back off or something. How can anyone even wear this tight of pants?*

▼: ((wanna go paragraph style this is getting fun))

▲: (shore!)

▼: ((yay))

▼: "Egbert will you quit it." he says rolling onto his back to look John in the eye. "I'll give you the damned key if it'll get you to stop squeezing my ass."

▲: Damn! So close! He nearly at it but then Dave rolled over. John rolls his eyes again at what Dave says. Yeah sure. He'll DEFINITELY give it to you for real this time. "Like I believe that! ...And I wasn't squeezing your ass." John sits back up, still straddling Dave's legs. He instinctively goes to cross his arms, but ends up just hurting his wrists and looking like a real doofus.

▼: Dave removes the key from his back pocket, and uncuffs john. "you know how funny it was seeing you try to cross your arms when your hands are cuffed together?" he asked half laughing at his friend.

▲: "I can think of something funnier." He replies as Dave unlocks the handcuffs. Taking advantage of the short laugh Dave was having, John quickly pushed the handcuffs forward around dave's wrists and snapped them closed. He made sure to knock the key out of Dave's hand the second he began reacting to the cuffs. "Heh heh heh." John laughs proudly to himself.

▼: Daves wraps his arms around John. "You just got into some deep shit." He says with a smirk.

▲: John looks a bit surprised. He was smirking? Shouldn't he be frowning and being angry? This was the shittiest payback ever. " /I'm/ in deep shit? You're the one handcuffed now with no key! "

▼: "And you're the one stuck because you cuffed me." He could never be angry because it was actually funny.

▲: "Wha? I'm not stuck! I can just back out of this." John pouted. Dave just won't allow him to one up him ever, will he?

▼: "Uncuff me Egbert." He stops and thinks for a moment. "That's right. You can't."

▲: "I can! I'm just not going to." John peeks over the end of the couch onto the floor where the key should have fell around. It wasn't there. Damn it it must have slid under the couch or something.

▼: "Good luck." he said smirking. He kept his arms around his friend.

▲: Deciding this position was kinda awkward, John tried moving back to get out of Dave's reach. The hold a bit stronger than he thought, he wasn't able to slip out as easily as he imagined. "Dude can we stop cuddling now?"

▼: "We're not cuddling. You're the one who cuffed me." He shifted his arms slightly to make the awkward position a little more comfortable.

▲: "Yeah but. Augh. You know what, I'm keeping you handcuffed until you're actually annoyed. I don't care if I even have to sit here and wait for hours." John rested himself against Dave now, not even giving a crap about how dumb this is.

▼: "You know you get annoyed a lot faster than I do. This could take hours." He leaned his head back and gave a fake yawn. "Goodnight Egderp." He said fakely and closed his eyes.

▲: "No you are NOT going to sleep!" John pinched his side a few times. "I'm going to be really annoying! And not let you sleep!"

▼: He began laughing. "Stop it." he gasped between laughs. "I'm ticklish you idiot." He began kicking his legs trying to get John to stop.

▲: John smirked at that. He never thought Dave Strider would actually be ticklish. "Hehehe oh really?" He continued pinching him on both sides.

▼: Dave tried to get away from the other, then realized how impossible it was with the other sitting on him, so instead he squirmed and kept laughing. "Dammit John. Quit it." He said between gasps of air.

▲: His smirk curved into a goofy grin. "Hehehe no way! This is payback Strider!" He poked at his sides instead with each finger rapidly, grinning and laughing away as Dave looked like he could be crying.

▼: He just about had enough. He turned the battle to his favor and started tickling John in return. "Payback's a bitch isn't she Egbert." He asked between laughs.

▲: "Pfffffffhahahahaha!" John was instantly in fit of giggles and laughs. He was like BEYOND ticklish. He tried to wiggle away from his hands, but that's sorta hard to do when you're on top of someone and they're arms are handcuffed and around you. He tries to bite his tongue to suppress his laughter and keeps tickling Dave. "Y-You're not going to winhehehe this!"

▼: "I know your tickle spots John. I've won this battle several times before." He kept tickling the other, running his hands up his shirt to make the tickling more effective. He held back most of his laughter, as his shades became askew to reveal the tears in his eyes.

▲: Had his legs not been curled, they'd be flailing out of control. The only reason his arms were not pushing Dave's arms away was because of his determination to win this. His giggles got louder and gasps for air became more noticeable once Dave went under the shirt. "No no NO THAT'S CHEATING! HEHEHEhehehahahaaha!" His own hands' pace on Dave had decreased though and had returned to pinches. He looked down to Dave almost shouting. " YOU'RE CRYING! YOU SO LOST! NO CRYING!" although yelling that, tears were already formed in John's eyes too.

▼: "Hahahahaha." he lost it. "Tears are... are in your eyes too Egbert." He finally gave into the laughter and began kicking his legs, trying to stop the tickling.

▲: "No they're not! I have no tea- aw crap i'm crying hahahahaha. okay okay truce! Truce!" John kept pinching and poking at Dave's sides until he would agree to the truce, laughing and trying to breathe in the meanwhile.

▼: He stopped tickling John, and let his hands rest on the skin of his back. He was still laughing. "Okay okay. Truce." he said trying to quell the laughter.

▲: He stopped tickling Dave and slouched down against him slightly, still laughing in between breaths. "Hehehe okay are you annoyed yet? Because that was just fun I'm supposed to be annoying you."

▼: He had to admit being tickled was extremely fun, but he would never say it out loud. "Not yet." he said chuckling, and pulled his arms around John tighter. "Because a tickle fight with my best bro is far from annoying."

▲: "Damn it." He rested his head against his chest thinking of some ways to annoy him. He COULD 'attempt' rapping and be so bad it'd be infuriating! But, that would probably just make Dave go on another endless freestyle rap. AGAIN. John soon grinned again once he realized something that would HAVE to annoy him! He moves up a bit and takes Dave's sunglasses from his face and puts them on his own. "Sup."

▼: "You wouldn't." He grimaced at the thought that the other might start trying to rap. "Don't do it John." he was afraid of what was going to spew from the others vocal cords.

▲: "Hey hey. Yo. I'm Dave Strider. Check it. In the crib. Uh, representing something ironic. Yo." It was almost hard not to laugh, but he managed to keep his best pokerface as he continued.

▼: Dave shook his head. "ALRIGHT DAMMIT YOU WIN!" he shouted to get the others attention. "Give me my shades John." He glared his ruby eyes at the, probably now blind, boy sitting on his lap. "Or else."

▲: "Hehehe! Or else what, Dave? What can you even do?" John grinned at him teasingly. Really, what could Dave do with his hands cuffed together?

▼: Dave glared at the other. He was right. He couldn't use his hands to shut him up, but he knows one thing about his friend that sure hits a nerve. "You're not gonna play that shit are you John?" his voice was softer and he put a fake smile on before sitting up. "If you don't stop I'll have to kiss you to shut you up." he whispered.

▲: John's eyes widened a bit at that, but went undetected due to the shades. But the blush forming on his face didn't. "That's a total bluff! I know you ain't into no fluff! Mostly cause I'm pretty buff! and uh..." He paused, thinking about another rhyme. "Stop bein' so god damn tough!" His rapping seems to be improving, sorta.

▼: His mouth became a total frown. "Bluffing? Hows this for bluffing?" He pressed his lips against Johns, then pulled back after a moment. "You taste like peppermint." He said without thinking.

▲: John blushed again, freezing in his spot durring and after the kiss. It only took a moment's delay for him to actually say something in response. "Uh.. I had gum and was blowing bubbles with Casey earlier..."

▼: Dave began laughing again. "Sounds about right. She's always blowing bubbles." He was surprised that he wasn't hit for the kiss. Maybe John wasn't a homophobe like he claims to be. "Now can i have my shades back?"

▲: "Uh yeah sure." John takes off the shades and puts them back onto Dave's face. He then put his own glasses back on. He wasn't exactly sure what to say or do now. He figures he should let Dave out of the handcuffs, he already successfully annoyed him. Fuck his arms are in the way. "I guess I'll just uncuff you now."

▼: He smiled and tightened his grip a little more. "You really don't have to." He whispered, kissing the other once more. "Besides I like being this close to you." he put his head on the others shoulder. He thinks he confessed but he wasn't quite sure what to think anymore.

▲: John stared back to Dave in disbelief with his blush still intact. He didn't move into the kiss but he didn't move away from it either. John couldn't deny he liked being this close to Dave too, it was sorta nice and he was having fun! But he wasn't sure exactly what he was meaning. "Um.. Do you like me?"

▼: He blushed, but thank god his shades cover half of his face. "Yeah I do John. I've liked you for a while actually." He averted his eyes, and loosened his grip on the other. He slumped his shoulders and picked his head up from the others shoulder.

▲: John was so unsure of what to say! He never thought Dave liked him like this. There were times where he was obviously flirting but that was just usual Dave. A few moments passed by with John in deep thought without saying a word. Debating within himself over what to do or say. Though at the end of his self debate he figures talk is cheap and action is what gets the point across. He leans forward and down and softly presses his lips against Dave's, giving him the world's lamest kiss. He should have went with words.

▼: Dave felt his heart skip a beat. The only kid he knew to claim he wasn't homosexual was kissing him. His eyes were wide for a moment before he closed them and leaned into the kiss. He broke away and looked at the other, trying to make sense of what had just happened. "John? Does this me you like me too?" he asks quietly before tightening his grip around the dorky wannabe magician once more. He never thought that this moment would happen, especially with John, but there they were.

▲: "Um... I think so. I mean, I'm totally not gay! But I don't know, kissing you doesn't feel like a bad thing...?" He wasn't exactly sure. But really, kissing him didn't feel like how he thought kissing another guy would be like. It was soft and nice. Nothing felt wrong about it at all.

**AS I SAID AT THE BEGINNING I AM REWRITING THIS. ALSO MY RP PARDNER AND I ARE PLANNING ON CONTINUING OUR LITTLE SHANANNAGINS WITH THIS,,, CAUSE AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL. IT'S NOT FINISHED.**


End file.
